Haha! I’ve bagged a lot of things, but never a parson and his clerk!
My master, who’s an accomplished thief, went into the church just after the clock struck twelve. With me in hand, he marched up to the pulpit and began to cry out in a loud, piercing voice:
“Hearken, sinful men! The end of all time has come! Whoever wishes to go to heaven must hop into my sack! I am Saint Peter who opens and shuts the gates of heaven. This is your last opportunity before the world is destroyed. Come quick!”
The parson and clerk ran into the church eager to take this chance to get into heaven. They climbed into me, and oh boy, did we ever give them a bumpy ride!
Bang, bang, bang, down the pulpit steps, slip, slop through the puddles. “We’re going through the rain clouds now,” said the thief. Bump, bump, up the steps to the castle. “Here we are in heaven,” he announced, dumping me in the pigeon-house.
Hearing the pigeons fluttering, the two fools said, “Oh, the angels are flapping their wings.”
Haha! They lay there all night in my dark and sodden hold, waiting to be saved!